Turbo Fire says, “I’m going to eat you for breakfast.”

So yeah… this is happening.

“I’m not a class person.”

I say this all the time about the gym. I have friends and family who love their spinning, kickboxing, yoga, and Pilates. “Classes are fun!” they say. “It really gets you motivated!”

It’s possible I don’t like classes because I’m so out of shape the competitive person inside me dies a little when I have to jog in place to catch my breath while everyone else is helicoptering kicks and air squats like it’s not burning their thighs at all. Perhaps it’s just an athletic self consciousness that I’ve carried with me since kindergarten when I couldn’t cross the rings. I’m not saying that any of this is good reasoning from staying away from classes, but I have no complaints about hopping on the elliptical. When I do it. Which, up until this point, isn’t as often as I should.

Enter Turbo Fire.

Turbo Fire is an “Intense cardio conditioning” fitness program put on by Beach Bodies, who make the notoriously hardcore P90x that I keep hearing about. It’s more than just a workout DVD; it’s several DVDs, with a “class schedule.” I really want to wax smarmy all over this, but I am in absolutely know position to throw stones. I need cardio. I need convenience and a schedule. This has both.

I will strive to be psyched as they all seem to be.

I initially doubted I could even do these videos. Intense, high-impact workouts are great ways for obese people to blow out knees. But when a friend graciously let me preview one of the tapes I saw that there was a nice, cheerful Asian girl (Holla!) on the side who did the “lower impact” version of the workouts.

So I’m committing, and this bomb is dropping on Monday (because that’s when the “class schedule” says to start, I’m not procrastinating, the pamphlet says so!). Updates to follow.

Is anybody out there doing a Beach Body Program? Is anybody else out there a “Class person” with a tip that could get me over the hump?